dirty talk during swinging

Dirty talk mistakes to avoid during swinging

These are some tips to avoid dirty talk mistakes during swinging. Remember that everyone is different, so you should approach these as general guidelines.  Don’t be inflexible or blindly follow these tips. The more you can adapt & adjust to your sexy friend’s preferences, the better you will be able to delight them.

Don’t Assume

Dirty talk doesn’t always have to be inherently dirty either. This hot sex talk is meant to be sensual, not vulgar. You want to turn on your swinging partner & avoid turning them off, which makes reading your partner very important. Make sure you ease into the dirty talk to figure out what they like & don’t like. Don’t blindly assume you know what they like to hear. As we’ve already said, everyone is different, and it can be beneficial to remember that and adjust accordingly. If you ask someone to say something and they hesitate, they might not be into it (or they might be embarrassed to do it too soon). Saying “Call me daddy” or “call me your dirty slut” can be a major turn-on for some but can also be a deal-breaker for others. Ease into it and pay attention to their swinger body language to figure out what they like and don’t like.

Avoid “Love”

Some swingers are sensitive towards the “L-word,” It can be easier if you avoid using it or minimize using it as much as possible.  This helps ensure there are no possible romantic misunderstandings. For example, instead of saying “I love this,” you can say, “This drives me crazy” or “I’ve been craving this.” In addition, you can voice your enjoyment & appreciation of their sexiness without using any romantically charged words like “love.”

Skip Shaming Terms

Everyone likes different things. That is definitely true for some sexual terms that could be offensive or incredibly hot, depending on the person. Many people don’t enjoy derogatory or demeaning terms like slut, man whore, bitch, well, you get the point.  It is safer to stick with complimentary dirty sex talk. Pick a body part and say how good it makes you feel. Comment on their erotic talents and performance. Compliments and encouragement are always appreciated (unless it’s a BDSM party and they have a humiliation fetish, but that’s a different article).

Hot Button Topics Lead to Cold Feet 

Avoid anything remotely close to a hot button topic. That means don’t comment on anything to do with their age, weight, race, or any other sensitive topic.  Sure, your intentions might be good, but you don’t know how they might be received. Why risk any misunderstanding? You never want to risk throwing a cold, wet blanket on a situation when the heat is starting to build up.  Don’t say how good they look for their age; say they look good & don’t risk triggering their sensitivity to age. Please don’t comment on their stretch marks; say their body is amazing. It’s simply smarter to avoid any sensitive topic.

Not A Joking Matter

Jokes are definitely good early on in the flirting stage. Yes, many swingers like to have fun & not take their sex life too seriously but being too silly during sexy play can backfire. When you transition from flirting to swinging, leave the jokes behind.  It is safer to keep your jokes to a minimum when the clothes start falling off. Stay in the safe zone at first and focus more on the sexiness and less on the silliness unless someone accidentally trips while trying to undress seductively because that can be really funny.


Whispering your questions and comments softly in your partner’s ear is a surefire way to keep the mood sultry. Making your demands more vocal suits an intense setting… make sure you don’t wake the neighbors. No matter what you choose to say, say it with confidence. There’s nothing sexier than confidence! If you sheepishly ask your partner to fuck you harder, they’re going to be less inclined to do it and will be unsure if that’s really what you want. If you tell your partner exactly what you want, they’ll take pleasure in knowing they can drive you wild. Say whatever comes to you at the moment – the words will flow right out of you if you relax and let your primal desires take over.