13 Sep How Swinging can strengthen your relationship
Swinging is awesome fun. You can make many new connections, but we all know that the most important relationship is with our own special someone. No matter what happens in the lifestyle, we go home with our special someone that we love and want to share a happy life forever and ever. To make sure we all have a happy forever & ever, let’s take a moment to empower you with good tools to strengthen and safeguard your relationship!
Communication is very important
You may be tired of hearing people encouraging communication. Honestly, it really is a vital thing for your relationship as you enter the lifestyle. If you don’t have great communication skills, think twice and take a step back. Good communication is how you stay connected and avoid mistakes.
We aren’t saying you need to communicate everything or constantly check in with each other every 5 minutes. We all know those couples, and it’s great if it makes them happy, but most of us would consider that behavior to be oversharing. You don’t need to text your partner about what you are eating for lunch, but you should make sure to communicate the more important things, like bumping into your ex-fiancé at lunch.
For everyone that has been in a relationship long enough, you will eventually realize some things can cause more trouble than they’re worth and shouldn’t be brought up. Maybe your partner doesn’t want to hear about your ex-fiancé, and they already communicated that preference to you. Be smart and talk with each other so you know what should or should not be shared.
If you ask a marriage counselor, they will tell you countless tales of how bad communication sabotages relationships and ultimately makes many divorce lawyers rich. Be smart and communicate with each other. Talk about how you both feel about your relationship and where you want it to go. Share your honest feelings about the swinging lifestyle and ask your partner about their feelings. Communication is a magical potion for sexy relationships, so use it often.
Honesty is even more important
All the communication in the world is not going to help if you aren’t honest when communicating with each other. If you don’t trust your partner enough to be 100% honest, you should probably look for a new swinger partner. Your partner loves you and wants to support you. They can’t support you if you don’t honestly share your feelings and concerns with them.
Have enough faith in your partner to share your innermost thoughts. Some of those thoughts may lead to short-term disagreements, but it is much healthier, to be honest in the long term. You will be more strongly connected knowing that you’re both being fully honest with each other.
Guys, if she asks you how she looks and you always respond with the same generic response (like “you look fine”), it won’t help reassure her. Being honest and letting her know she looks better in one outfit or another will help her trust and rely on you.
Ladies, if he asks about your comfort level, be honest. Don’t lie and let your emotional discomfort grow until there is a massive blow-up.
Talk about your boundaries
Now that we are honestly communicating with each other, let’s talk about some of the more important aspects of the lifestyle … boundaries. The best part is that you make your own boundaries with your partner. You should decide together what is too special to be shared and will be reserved just for yourselves.
Some couples set physical boundaries. These boundaries can be soft swap versus full swap swinging, no kissing allowed, or backdoor play only with your spouse. Talk with your partner about physical boundaries. You both need to feel secure and safe in your relationship.
You can also set emotional boundaries. These boundaries can include no private communications with other swingers, just doing group communications. Another example would be only to play once a month, so swinging doesn’t take over your relationship and vanilla friendships.
Support Each Other
You both want to demonstrate to each other that you are their biggest cheerleader. Passively listening to them is nice, but proactively taking steps to show they are your #1 priority in life is even better. Yes, you might be visiting a sexy lending library and playing with other people, but swingers are not your favorite book and never will be your favorite book. Make sure you use your actions each day and at each swinger event to demonstrate to your partner that they are your priority.
Talk with each other to identify your common preferences and work together to build a strong synergy towards those goals. Remember to be patient with your partner. If they need extra time, give them all the time they want.
Be loyal to each other. When you are chatting with others, always mention the many fantastic things about your partner.
Share your passion for each other. Don’t wait for swinger events to be passionate. You love your partner the most, so show them just how passionate they make you feel on a day-to-day basis.
Demonstrate how much you care for your partner. If you are at any party, make sure your partner is your priority. Think about what they might enjoy. Is their favorite dance song playing? Then bring them to the dance floor. Is their drink almost gone? Then get them another drink. Doing nice things for each other is a great way to let your actions scream how much you care about your partner.
Avoid being judgmental or overly critical of your partner. Life isn’t easy, and you are both trying your best to make each other happy. Focus on the positive. Being thankful for all the positive things your partner brings to your relationship is important.